Learning to resolve conflict in your relationship is a process that takes time. Unfortunately, many couples let issues and concerns pile up before finally seeking help. The ideal recommendation is that couples work on nurturing and enriching their relationship “early and often”. However, if you find yourself angry or frustrated with the direction your relationship has gone, you might find counseling more helpful than attempting to resolve conflict on your own. The Wright Place Coaching and Counseling offers relationship workshops as well as couples counseling and coaching to help you learn how to best handle your problems. For now, here are a few tips you can start practicing today.
1. Decide to Make the Effort
Though it may seem daunting at first, deciding to start making an effort to solve one’s problems is a huge step in the right direction. You may find that it is easier than you anticipated and that your partner will be very receptive to your change in attitude. Fostering an atmosphere of trust and respect for each other can really start turning the tide in your relationship.
2. Move Towards Selflessness
When you’re in a relationship, it’s important to prioritize the needs of your partner as opposed to just your own. Only expecting your partner to attend to your needs and do the things that bring you peace and comfort will be problematic. But finding out what your partner desires in you and the relationship and acting on it will create a positive loving foundation you can both build upon.
3. Talk About What You are Feeling
Conflict resolution in relationships can not and will not happen unless you discuss what is bothering you. This may be difficult if one or both partners are not used to talking about their feelings. Perhaps, it was not modeled or encouraged in their family or maybe the person doesn’t want to feel like they’re whining and complaining. These are simply barriers that will interfere with your ability to become more vulnerable and closer to your partner.
4. Forgiveness
There are many misconceptions about forgiveness that prevent people from exercising this important skill. Yet, fostering an attitude and relationship climate of forgiveness communicates volumes. It lets your partner know that you recognize that they are human and will make mistakes. Some acts may be more difficult to forgive and may require counseling or support to work through it or to decide how to proceed.
5. Do Something Nice for Your Spouse
Practice a regular habit of doing nice things for your partner. Maybe you can cook a meal for them or offer to give them a foot massage. Find out their love language and do the things that will make your partner feel loved and special. When you are proactive in expressing love and affection, it is easier to address conflict when it arises.